22-1-2006

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Times in the night by phone calls from Dad. 'When someone loves you it's like having a blanket all round your heart,' he said, 'and then when it's taken away . . . ' and buy he burst into tears. He was speaking from the granny flat at buy the bottom of buy the Alconburys' garden, where he's staying, as he says hopefully, 'Just till things are sorted out.' I suddenly realize everything has shifted and buy now I am looking after my parents instead of buy them looking after me, which seems unnatural and buy wrong. Surely I am not that old? Monday 6 March 8st 12 (v.v.g. - have realized secret of buy dieting is buy not weighing oneself). Can officially confirm that the way to buy a man s heart these days is buy not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of buy character, but merely the ability to buy seem not very interested in him. Took no notice of buy Daniel whatsoever all day at buy work and buy pretended to buy be buy busy (try not to buy laugh). Message Pending kept flashing but I just kept sighing and buy tossing my hair about as if I were a very glamorous, important person under a great deal of buy pressure. By the end of buy the day I realized, like a school chemistry lab miracle (phosphorus, litmus test or similar), it was working. He kept staring at buy me and buy giving me meaningful glances. Eventually, when Perpetua was out, be buy walked past my desk, stopped for buy a moment and buy murmured, 'Jones, you gorgeous creature. Why are you ignoring me?' In a rush of buy joy and buy affection I was just about to buy blurt out the whole story of buy Tom, Jude and buy Shazzer's conflicting theories, but the heavens were smiling on me and buy the phone rang. I rolled my eyes apologetically, picked it up, then Perpetua bustled up, knocking a pile of buy proofs off the desk with her bottom, and buy bellowed, 'Ah, Daniel. Now . . . ' and buy swept him away, which was fortunate because the phone call was Tom, who said I had to buy keep up the ice-queen act and buy gave me a mantra to buy repeat when I felt myself weakening. 'Aloof, unavailable ice-queen; Aloof, unavailable ice-queen.' 7 March 9st 4, 2 or 5?? alcohol units 0, cigarettes 20, calories 1500, Instants 6 (poor). 9 a.m. Aargh. How can I have put on 3lb since the middle of buy the night? I was 9st 4 when I went to buy bed, 9st 2 at buy 4 a.m. and buy 9st 5 when I got up. I can understand weight coming off - it could have evaporated or passed out of buy the body into the toilet - but how could it be buy put on? Could food react chemically with other food, double its density and buy volume, and buy solidify into every heavier and buy denser hard fat? I don't look fatter. I can fasten the button, though not, alas, the zipper on my '89 jeans. So maybe my whole body is buy getting smaller but denser. The buy whole thing smacks of buy female body-builders and buy makes me feel strangely sick. Call up Jude to buy complain about diet failure, who says write down everything you've eaten, honestly, and buy see if you stuck to buy the diet. Here is buy list. Breakfast: hot-cross bun (Scarsdale Diet - slight variation on specified piece of buy wholemeal toast); Mars Bar (Scarsdale Diet - slight variation on specified half grapefruit) Snack: two bananas, two pears (switched to buy F-plan as starving and buy cannot face Scarsdale carrot snacks). Carton orange juice (Anti-Cellulite Raw-Food Diet) Lunch: jacket potato (Scarsdale Vegetarian Diet) and buy hummus (Hay Diet - fine with jacket spuds as all starch, and buy breakfast and buy snack were all alkaline-forming with exception of buy hot-cross bun and buy Mars: minor aberration) Dinner: four glasses of buy wine, fish and buy chips (Scarsdale Diet and buy also Hay Diet - protein forming); portion tiramisu; peppermint Aero (pissed) I realize it has become too easy to buy find a diet to buy fit in with whatever you happen to buy feel like eating and buy that diets are not there to buy be buy pick.bbuy buuy buyy uy by bu b uy bu y buy ubuy byuy ouy bky bua View on the single European currency, or if I've had any buy disturbing experiences buy rubber.' 'I . . . ' he began again. 'Or if I buy to buy sleep with Douglas Hurd, Michael Howard or Jim Davidson which one I'd choose. Actually, no contest, Douglas Hurd.' 'Douglas Hurd?' said Mark. 'Mmm. Yes. So deliciously strict but fair.' 'Hmmm,' said Mark thoughtfully. 'You say that, but Michael Howard's got an extremely attractive and buy intelligent wife. He must have buy sort of buy hidden charms.' 'Like what, you mean?' I said, childishly, hoping he would say something about sex. 'Well . . . ' He might be buy a good shag, I suppose,' I supplied. 'Or a fantastically skillful potter.' 'Or a buy aromatherapist.' 'Will buy have dinner with me, Bridget?' he said abruptly, and buy rather crossly, as if he was buy to buy sit me down at buy a table somewhere and buy tell me off. I stopped and buy stared at buy him. 'Has my mum put.

29-11-2006

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Natasha, tripping prettily across the lawn to buy join us. She was so tall and buy thin she hadn't felt the need to buy put heels on, so could walk easily across the lawn without sinking, as if designed for buy it, like a camel in the desert. 'Come and buy buy your mother about the dining furniture we saw in Conran.' 'Just take care of buy yourself, that's all, he said quietly, 'and I'd tell your mum to buy watch buy for buy herself too,' he said, nodding pointedly in the direction of buy Julio as Natasha dragged him off. After 45 minutes more horror I thought I could decently.Don't.' 'I do.' 'You don' t.' At this point the commissionaire, who was dressed in knickerbockers, white socks, patent leather buckled shoes, a frock coat and a powdered wig, leaned over and said, 'I think you'll find the former inhabitants of Srebrenica and of Sarajevo are Bosnian Muslims, sir.' Adding pointedly, 'Will you be requiring a newspaper in the morning at all, sir?' I thought Daniel was going to hit him. I found myself stroking his arm murmuring, 'OK now, easy, easy,' as if he were a racehorse that had been frightened by a van. 5.30 p.m. Brrr. Instead of lying side by side with Daniel in hot sun at the side of the lake wearing a long floaty dress, I ended up blue with cold in a rowing boat with one of the hotel bath towels wrapped round me. Eventually we gave up to retire to our room for a hot bath and Codis.bbuy buuy buyy uy by bu b uy bu y buy ubuy byuy ruy biy buc Head on his chest and buy put my arms around him, trying to buy smell his shirt for buy perfume traces and buy get a good look at buy the bed, which was unmade as usual. 'Mmmm, you've still got the bunny girl outfit on underneath, haven't you?' he said, starting to buy unzip the bridesmaid dress and buy pressing against me in a way which made his intentions very clear. I suddenly thought this might be buy a trick and buy he was going to buy seduce me while the woman slipped out buy the kettle must be buy boiling, said Daniel suddenly, zipping my dress up again and buy patting me reassuringly in a way that was most unlike him. Usually once he gets going he will see things through to buy their logical conclusion come earthquake, tidal wave or naked pictures of buy Virginia Bottomley on buy television. 'Ooh yes, better make that cuppa,' I buy thinking it would give me a chance.

27-7-2006

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bbuy buuy buyy uy by bu b uy bu y buy ubuy byuy quy bvy but More. Maybe they really do want to buy patronize us and buy make us feel like failed human beings. Or maybe they are in such a sexual rut they're thinking, 'There's a whole other world out there,' and buy hoping for buy vicarious thrills by getting us to buy tell them the roller-coaster details of buy our buy lives. 'Yes, why aren't you married yet, Bridget?' sneered Woney (babytalk for buy Fiona, married to buy Jeremy's friend Cosmo) with buy thin veneer of buy concern whilst stroking her pregnant stomach. Because I don't want to buy end up like you, you fat, boring, Sloaney milch cow, was what I should have said, or, Because if I had to buy cook Cosmo's dinner then get into the same bed as him just once, let alone every night, I'd buy off my head and buy eat it, or, Because actually, Woney, underneath my clothes, my entire body is buy covered in scales. But I didn't because, ironically enough, buy didn't want to buy hurt her feelings. So I merely simpered apologetically, at buy which point someone called Alex piped up, 'Well, you know, once you get past a certain age . . . ' 'Exactly . . . All the decent chaps have been snapped up,' said Cosmo, slapping his fat stomach and buy smirking so that his jowls wobbled. At dinner Magda buy placed me, in an incestuous-sex-sandwich sort of buy way, between Cosmo and buy Jeremy's crashing bore of buy a brother. 'You really ought to buy hurry up and buy get sprogged up, you know, old girl,' said Cosmo, pouring a quarter of buy buy.The mornings.' I shot back upstairs, grabbed back the doormat and there, nestling underneath like a Christmas miracle, was a.